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5hrs

by Zack Stefanski

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1.
my bad 03:41
this is not your first, i take it, your first time on the road it doesn't take too much to fake it, fake it out like the pros i remember when i was your age i cut off a guy my hands were shaking as i watched him drive on by. my bad this is not your first, i take it, your first time in this town i see a lot of familiar faces but yours is one i don't know i remember when i was new here i felt like you do fall in with the wrong crowd and you'll paint yourself a new color but this is not your first, i take it, your first time with these thoughts step away from the internet and find yourself in the sun i remember when i just about lost myself online it can't be healthy but i must i admit i check it all the time too much
2.
i hear you creeping over- are you looking for me? i can't tell if you like the taste or if you just want to burn things kamikaze pilots- another day on the job shit sounds like an opera, but its all f'd up can you tell me more?
3.
apologies they come when you least expect a burden on you mind will consume your time followed instructions to the T like you asked that broken part of me where’d i see it last tell me thats what your looking for we’ve been out here for hours a time i don’t know what i’m looking for and we’ve been out here for an hour tell me thats what your looking for we’ve been out here for hours a time but i don’t know what i’m looking for tell me that’s what you're looking for
4.
call me 03:42
call me just a friend of the family you don’t have the right you don’t know the first thing about me all you need was ask staring like a deer in the headlights what else else do we know? people come and people just drive by where else can we go? waking up was not part of the plan i did not consent guess i see your point but what’s your fear? i don’t have to say wake me up when all the troops are home that will be the day what a world we live in.
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7.
Frankl 04:07
i think i’ll take up running run around he block i know i’ll be healthier thinking anyone can change even on a whim sent a book to my brother going through hard times a book about the Holocaust and how the author had survived when your mind is all you own i remember singing singing through the house whenever no on was home in another language one i still don’t know i think i’ll take up running run around the block i know i’ll be happier thinking anyone can change even on a whim
8.
dalliance 03:36
We met while young crown of flowers in my hair playful taunting an innocent dalliance i called your name you only threw stones always a little off Married too young crown of roses in my hair you were my feet and I your balance I called your name you only turned round never a moment gone. oh father, is this not the only way? oh mother, I have done all you say. oh brother, what’s that look upon your face? many moons have passed flowers long have died away dust settles on your chair and in our empty house please write me when your planning to return and I’ll meet you at the river.
9.
10.
5hrs 03:10
five hours driving if you go fast take it slower, you’ll save in gas i don’t mind being on the road white lines guiding the way back home shaken father and mother too baby boy with a mind untrue wicked feelings and voices too i don’t wish this on anyone least of which, my father’s son ma’ says pills are the way to go oh
11.
Chicago 03:51
their faces, pale and grey walking on the limbs of a tall tree making on their skin, tattoos or something they threw a ball around the rest is gone after all it only was a dream, and now its just a distant memory i know it may be far fetched, but who's to say your eyes are used to see? and though i don’t want to look, i do i never see anything, but i tried. you know i don’t want to look, but i do i never see anything, but i tried. in chicago, coldest i’ve ever been where no one notices you and the sirens ringing through the night like dogs at your door it bounces off buildings like other i’ve ever heard like the city’s on fire all the time i know it may be f'd up when i can’t the difference between my dreams and memories and though i don’t want to look, i do i never see anything, but i tried. you know i don’t want to look, but i do i never see anything, but i tried.
12.
problems 04:14
you want to tell me your story but you don’t want to listen i’m half tempted to leave but i’m too damn polite i think i’m prone to these problems, they just tend to find me i want to be more honest with what i’m really thinking, i’m just afraid of what you’ll think of me. i want to tell you my story but i don’t don't think you listen its not fully of fury, its not too exciting i guess its kinda what life is, just a series of days its all over ‘for you know it when you're stuck in your ways i just hope i wont be stuck here long i don’t think you’ll listen its not too exciting life is just a series of days know it when your stuck in your ways.

about

“I sent a book to my brother, going through hard times. A book about the Holocaust & how the author had survived when your mind is all you own.”

“In Chicago - coldest I’ve ever been - where no one notices you. And the sirens ringing through the night - like dogs at your door - it bounces off buildings like nothing I’ve ever heard. Like the city’s on fire all the time.”

5hrs is a dialogue between an internal chaos and the inevitable groove in which it fits. It’s an exercise in letting go and retrospectively making sense of what you couldn’t ever control.

I’ll be 28 this April. I’ve been writing music for 15 years but I’ve only recently found the confidence to cut myself some slack in the writing process and let my music be what it is. One thing that’s abundantly clear is that the groove always persists. It is inevitable. And when it comes to the final product, I really don’t feel like I have as much a say in the matter. The process is pretty simple. I hear something and react. I tighten up, play some instruments, sing about what is on my mind, and tweak until I become aware that I’m tweaking too much. Then I let go.

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released March 7, 2020

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Zack Stefanski Louisville, Kentucky

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